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Having a Baby While Building a Business

Dr. Laura Bennion, MD, CCFP, Dip Sport Med

The baby has arrived. Months of anticipation for the birth have passed. What lies ahead? A year-long maternity leave filled with sleep-ins, trips to the park and swapping notes with other moms at baby-group? Um…probably not. For most women, maternity leave does not live up to this idyllic billing. For many self-employed women, maternity leave, as it is understood by our broader society, simply doesn’t exist. After all, the accountability to one’s business or profession does not stop because a baby is born. Here’s what I’ve learned with my two babies and from mothers in my practice.

This article and its follow-up in the next issue of MOMpreneur^® will examine some of the common themes that self-employed women report as they enter motherhood.

Financial: A maternity leave of any duration will impact your financial situation. For women with benefits, a maternity leave with pay is far from full pay. Most self-employed women do not qualify for maternity leave benefits at all, unless you qualify for the new EI benefit for self-employed people (www.servicecanada.gc.ca) announced by the Harper government earlier this year. A Statistics Canada report (2004) showed that 33% of self-employed Canadian women returned to work within two months after having a child compared to 5% of employees.

Professional: Attrition of skills is a real concern for women in creative or technical professions. Loss of business contacts is crucial in sales or client-based ventures. Time away can limit women hoping to ascend the corporate ladder. For self-employed women, planning business ventures in the first year is difficult because it is impossible to know how much time will be available for work. A colicky baby will leave parents exhausted and unfocussed. A baby who does sleep makes life easier.

Psychological: This is a broad category that encompasses many topics that women may or may not be comfortable discussing. Feeling out of control is the most common theme reported by new moms. This feeling can be more pronounced in women who are used to being in charge of their own time, for women whose work depends on careful planning and for women who have firm expectations about what tasks they should accomplish in a day. Feeling out of control commonly presents as anxiety, tension, hypervigilance, tearfulness and fatigue. In an unconscious and well-intentioned attempt to regain a sense of control, new mothers can become controlling over their newborn, not trusting others with the care of their baby. These new moms also can become confused about what is the “right” thing to do: Is it ok for my baby to use a soother? How many layers should the baby wear? Can I eat peanut butter while breastfeeding? Is one poop every two days enough? And…why can’t I get a straight answer to any of my questions? It’s because the answer to all of these questions, like most other things in life, is – “it depends.” Welcome to the first lesson of parenting: Learn to live with uncertainty.

Like a skilled juggler, self-employed women are used to handling many tasks at once, changing gears quickly and problem solving on the run. These skills will all come in handy as a parent. However, the arrival of a baby throws an extra set of balls into the juggling act. Self-employed women are more likely than others to try to keep all the balls in the air and less likely to recognize or admit that they need help. Learning to ask for help can be hard because for some women doing so can feel like an admission of failure.

After all that, it is reassuring to know that most often women report that parenting is a profoundly positive experience. As the children grow, self-employed women cherish the flexibility that being one’s own boss affords. This flexibility may open other career-building doors, such as higher education which would be more difficult to pursue in a salaried position. Being able to build one’s work schedule to fit the family’s needs is a benefit few women can boast.

The most important message is that new mothers need support. You are not a failure for feeling out of control, uncertain and exhausted. Ask for help. Do not assume that people - even your partner - can see you need help. Do not wait for the offer. Just ask. In business, you ask for help and delegate tasks every day. Remember to do the same at home.

In the next issue, see part 2 of this article, which will focus on the social, personal, and medical implications of entering motherhood for self-employed women.

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Pull Quote:

Self-employed women are more likely than others to try to keep all the balls in the air and less likely to recognize or admit that they need help.

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