Parenting

MOMpreneur®, Where Two Passions Meet...

In addition to our special Parenting articles listed below, all our cover stories and many of the Q & A's contain parenting information. 

The Adoption Option

July 2007

A funny incident happened to me this afternoon when I took my 6 ½ year old daughter to get the final set of her immunizations at the clinic. The nurse was trying to figure out whether or not she had been immunized for Hep B as a baby. She asked me in front of my daughter, “Were her parents born in China?” It might not seem a strange question to you and I’m sure she was only trying to do the best she could to find out important information about my daughter’s medical history. But the real answer to this question (which made the hair on my neck rise and my pulse quicken) was not the same as the answer I gave to her. The answer I said in my head was no, they weren’t. My daughter is adopted from China and she was most definitely born in China to a Chinese birth mother. But her parents were born in other countries.

Because I have an adopted daughter, others often ask me about the process and experience of international adoption. I am most certainly not an expert and cannot speak for others or their experiences. But I can share with you what I know to be true for my own family and for myself. I’d like to present to you my own version of Oprah’s, What I Know For Sure (About Adoption):

• Being a parent doesn’t have anything to do with giving birth (although I’m sure it is a wonderful experience!) Being a parent is about unconditional love – something I knew nothing about until my daughter came into my life. Being a parent is waking at 3:00 a.m. to take a temperature, about kissing scraped knees better, about taking your child to Kindergarten on the first day, about packing healthy lunches…well, you know all of this. It is exactly the same for parents and children regardless of where you are born or what type of family you live in.

• Love is absolutely colour-blind. It doesn’t see race or ethnicity or disability. It just sees and searches for its reflection in the eyes of others.

• Adopting a child fulfilled all of my needs to be a mother. When I look back at photos of myself on the day I adopted my daughter, I see the same look that brides and new mothers have – the glow of true and complete happiness. I no longer mourn the fact that I wont go through pregnancy or give birth. In fact, I don’t even think about it anymore – it simply doesn’t matter. I am a Mom and that’s all I ever wanted to be. How it happened is irrelevant – what I am focused on now is the hope that I can live up to what I believe a good mother should be.

• Giving a home to a child who doesn’t have one is a wonderful option for parenthood. I highly recommend it to those who can’t give birth to their own children or to those who have space in their family for another child to love.

If you have been thinking about adoption, internationally or locally, there are many wonderful resources out there for you. It does cost money and the process usually takes longer than a normal pregnancy. But in some respects I think the ‘wait time’ is a good buffer to make sure that you are 100% committed to your decision. Adoption requires a lot of paperwork and some headaches along the way. But in the end these memories will be overshadowed by the wonderful job of parenting which fills your life from sunrise to sunset – including trips to the clinic for immunizations….

Author: Sandi Janusch

If you have been thinking about adoption, check out these websites for more information:
Alberta Government Children’s Services website
http://www.child.gov.ab.ca/whatwedo/adoption/page.cfm?pg=Find%20a%20private%20adoption%20agency

Calgary and Area Child and Family Services Authority
http://www.calgaryandareacfsa.gov.ab.ca/crv.nsf/(Search)/Adoption-Adoption+-+General

International Adoption Families Association (IAFA)
Alberta, Canada
http://www.iafa.ca
info@iafa.ca

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